True love: How to know if you have true love

So you want to find real love or true love? Who doesn’t?

But what is true love? How will you be able to recognise it if and when it happens?

Let me tell you about Errol. This guy was very careful about his love life that he waited until he was 43 years old to get married. Although he had lots of relationships he avoided settling down until he was absolutely sure that what he had was real love.

He eventually fell in love with a wonderful Asian girl and felt he finally found true love. Thinking that he found the love his life, his soul mate, and the woman of his dreams he married her after about a year of dating.

He was actually convinced that he has seen it all and could not be easily fooled; he felt he had the real deal – true love… But did he?

He got married in 2004 and by September of 2007 he was bang in the center of a bitter divorce?

So could we say that he had true love or was he simply infatuated?

Before we get to the answer lets consider Julian and Robert. They met Saturday and by Tuesday they decided they were soul mates and within a month they were married. Would you consider that to be real love?

Well Julian and Robert’s marriage ended. Yes but it ended after 54 years of marriage when she died. It was death that ended it. Julian told me they had a very happy marriage.

So where can you find true love?

I think the better question is: how can I tell if this is real love or just giddy headed lustful infatuation.

I have to admit that it is always easy to tell the difference between true love and infatuation.

High roller coaster emotions, intense feelings of excitement, sensations of warmth can indicate that you have a crush or are simply infatuated with someone.

But confusingly these feelings also are the beginning of strong lasting love.

Let me give you some very quick tips on how to tell if you are really in love.

• Feel with your heart but act with your head. Do not let your heart drive you to do something without thoroughly thinking about it. Yes love is accompanied by warm feelings but love is not able feeling alone.
• What is your gut instinct telling you? Are there some niggling doubts that you are ignoring?
• Is this person a safe person to be with?
• What are other people saying about his person
• How does this person treat other people
• Can this person be trusted?
• How does the person make you feel about yourself?
• Can you validate the things he or she tells you about himself or herself? I often tell people that someone should not the only source of information about himself or herself.
• It is not how love starts that is important, but how it is maintained and cultivated. So you can grow in love or fall in love but this does not guaranty failure or success. How you treat each other in the relationship is most important
• Real love then is about how you make the person feel about you and about himself or herself. If you make them feel discourage, down courage and depressed they will want to get away from you. However True love  will make your spouse feel  happy, elevated, excited and esteemed they will always want to be with you.

Here is great article obout love “How to tell love vs fantasy”